All Behavior Is Communication

I recently had a discussion on a social media platform about the behavior of a student that threatened the safety of the other students and the teacher in a classroom. Several people in the discussion were calling for the removal of the student to protect the safety of others in that classroom. There was no discussion on what preventative measures the school used for de-escalation. There was no discussion on how the administration of the school was supporting both the teacher and the student. I found the discussion troubling. Participants were quick to blame the student, but the student was young and did not have the skills needed to navigate that situation any differently. So, in this blog, I want to provide an example of a different way to address challenging students

I used to work in a Title One elementary school, and we saw our fair share of challenging students. As the special education teacher, I worked with the classroom teacher to get the interventions in place, collect data and make adjustments to the intervention. If the student continued to struggle and became a danger to their classmates and teacher, we moved the student to a special classroom in another school. However, as a school and a community, we evolved and changed. We recognized that behavior is communication. We spent our money on making sure we had a full time counselor and enough teachers to keep classrooms on the smaller side. We worked with a local organization and had a therapist assigned to our school. We worked as a community to support students in all settings within the school, and this included our administration working proactively to support students. We began focusing more on prevention and not reaction. 

The following example is not one challenging student, but a conglomeration of many challenging students. This example is meant to spark discussion on how school communities can make different choices and get different outcomes. For the purpose of this blog, I will name this student Steve.

Steve started attending the school in kindergarten. His parents contacted the school before the school year began and expressed concerns they had over Steve’s experience in preschool where he struggled to follow directions and get along with his peers. The administration completed a parent interview to gather more information and learned that Steve’s parents took him to his pediatrician last year to discuss their concerns. The counselor requested medical records, and the school learned that a questionnaire was completed with the preschool teachers and parents. The results were  inconclusive for ADHD, so the pediatrician gave the parents information on parenting classes and a child therapist. The pediatrician also suggested that the parents have Steve tested for special education services if the problems persist. 

In addition to the preschool and medical history, the school also learned from the interview that Steve was an only child who spent a lot of time with his grandmother, who cared for him while his parents were at work. The school also learned that Steve had a few good friends, was a very picky eater, sensitive to the texture of his clothing, and easily became overstimulated and overwhelmed. When Steve became overstimulated, he became very energetic and active, and when he became overwhelmed, he cried. Steve’s family learned that Steve needed breaks, quiet time, or a nap to calm himself down, and that sometimes lasted hours. 

The administration of the school and the classroom teacher talked with the parents about letting Steve get settled in the classroom before moving forward with any special education referral. Currently, there was no data since Steve was new to the school, and the school wanted a chance to get to know Steve. The parents agreed, but asked to be kept informed on how Steve was adapting to the new setting and demands. At this point, the initial plan was to allow Steve room to settle into the new classroom and send home regular notes for the parents. 

Within one week it became apparent that Steve needed more than the classroom teacher could provide. The classroom teacher had a classroom management system in place that included community building, positive reinforcement, and redirection and reteaching of desired behaviors. The classroom teacher also regularly used a form home note for all students and earned rewards for the class as part of her daily routine. In addition, the school counselor worked with the class weekly on various topics, including emotions, friendship, appropriate behaviors, as well as other appropriate topics. Unfortunately, Steve was overstimulated and overwhelmed each day. He frequently sat under the tables and cried loudly. He refused to sit on the carpet with his peers, even when given a spot away from others, and he frequently left class without permission to hide in the stairwell or under a table in the common areas. Steve did make new friends, but he would not sit in the cafeteria next to them or anyone else. On one occasion, Steve became so overstimulated that he began to yell and started throwing blocks across the room. All of this, and the few successes Steve had, were reported to his parents daily using the home note, emails, and phone calls. 

The school had a committee that consisted of the administration, the school counselor, the therapist, the special education teacher, English language teacher, gifted teacher, and classroom teacher. (The classroom teachers signed up as needed, but everyone else was required to meet weekly.) Steve’s teacher attended this meeting and developed a plan with the committee. The plan involved designating a buddy classroom and providing scheduled breaks outside of the classroom by having a designated adult (paraprofessional, school counselor, administration) pick Steve up from his classroom. The plan also included creating a quiet work space within the classroom, adjusting the workload by presenting only half of a page at a time, noise cancelling headphones, and thoughtful seating in the classroom (not in the middle of peers, but somewhere on the outside). Both the counselor and the teacher would work together to provide instruction on more appropriate behaviors, and the classroom teacher was also going to start collecting data for a possible referral for special education testing. Steve’s parents agreed with this plan that focused on opportunities to escape to safe spaces and teaching more appropriate behaviors.

One month later, the classroom teacher returned to the committee to review the plan and how Steve was responding to the interventions. The team reviewed the collected data from the teacher and discovered that the headphones, adjusted work load, thoughtful seating, regular breaks, and reteaching appropriate classroom behaviors were helping. They also discovered that the buddy classroom was not working because Steve would disrupt the other class by yelling and crying loudly whenever he was sent. The team also noticed that there were patterns in Steve’s outburst. Steve had more outbursts after lunch, during reading instruction, at transition times, and on days he was late to school. The team revised Steve’s plan by eliminating the buddy room and instead having him come to the office to decompress. The team also worked with the teacher to adjust transitions by providing warnings to the whole class and quietly to Steve. The teacher decided to have the paraprofessional work one-on-one with Steve to preteach the reading lessons, and the team decided to try having Steve decompress in the classroom quiet zone when he comes in late. Either the principal, vice principal, school counselor, or even the school secretary would walk with Steve to his classroom on the days he was late. The classroom teacher already discussed the patterns she was seeing and possible changes to the plan with the parents, so when the revised plan was shared with the parents, they agreed. 

At this point, the school has had at least four to five weeks working with Steve. The special education teacher had been gathering the data from the classroom teacher and started the prereferral paperwork. The team had reviewed and revised the intervention plan and kept the parents involved. The focus has been on prevention, de-escalation, decompression, and reteaching appropriate behaviors. The teacher was supported with the help of the paraprofessional, the school counselor, and the administration. In time, Steve was tested and qualified for special education services, and the team revised his plan again to include this new level of intervention. The responsibility of supporting Steve was never left to one person, and Steve’s intervention plan was periodically reviewed and revised as he learned new skills and matured. The support from multiple adults within the school was maintained and revised as needed. Consequently, Steve developed strong relationships with some of his classmates and several adults in the building, including the administration. The school became a safe space for Steve.

Steve’s story continued as the year progressed and as he advanced in grade level. He was promoted to seventh grade with his classmates. Do all interventions for other students go as smoothly as this example? No. Frequently, there are many demands on the time of teachers, administration, and the school counselor. There are also several “Steves” in the student body at once, and meeting their needs creates conflicts in available time and services. That requires compromises, flexibility, and creative problem solving. However, the emphasis is always on supporting students because they are a part of the community. 

That is the important take away. Every student is an important member of the community. They are there to learn both academic and social-emotional skills. The faculty at the school recognize that children do not have the brain development of an adult and are therefore not capable of adult reasoning skills. They need to learn this, and it is the school’s responsibility to provide a safe environment for them to learn these skills. 

All behavior is communication.

© 2026 Linda Patrell-Kim